Insane Christian Proselytizers

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A friend of mine recently posted this on her Facebook: a Guardian article discussing the recent revelation that Insane Clown Posse are Christians.

The only ICP I have listened to is their parody of Eminem’s Slim Shady, Slim Anus, which, as parodies go, is pretty good. I knew their lyrics were of the angry and lewd variety, but having no interest in the usual woman-hating, violent lyrics typical to gangster rap, I never bothered to listen.

Obviously, not all gangster rappers are condoning violence or hateful behavior – like any story-tellers, one should not assume all first-person narratives they create are autobiographical; however, as with poets, there is a close connection to personal experience. Gangster rap in particular reflects a particular urban American environment, and the anger, fear, and aggression that such an environment breeds. There are plenty of Christian rappers; religion, like gangs, offers a kind of security and love in a very insecure and loveless environment.

What makes this particular article worth response, I think, is how absolutely, offensively ignorant ICP reveal themselves to be.

The song in which they ‘come out’ as Christians, Miracle, has lyrics expounding the miracles of everyday life – like, apparently, giraffes, fog, and magnets. And rainbows – which, naturally, had me associating ICP with this guy.

I have no objection to thinking that stuff in the world is amazing. Lots of it is. But thinking that ‘motherfucking scientists’ stop the world from seeming amazing is just plain stupid. Emptv posted a thorough response to the lyrics and video for ‘Miracle’ back in April to this ignorance-peddling.

What the Guardian article uncovers is something just as troubling, if not more so, that ICP’s apparent terror of comprehension. Interviewer Jon Ronson asked about some of their violent lyrics and how that sits with their Christianity:

“‘I stuck her with my wang. She hit me in the balls. I grabbed her by her neck. And I bounced her off the walls. She said it was an accident and then apologised. But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes.’ That’s clearly a song about domestic violence. So your Christian message is… don’t be like that man?”

“Huh?” Violent J repeats, mystified.

There’s a silence.

“I Stuck Her With My Wang is funny,” Violent J says. “Jokes. Jokes, man. Jokes. Jokes. Jokes. It’s just a ridiculous scenario. Silly stories, man. Silly stories. What’s she doing kicking him in the balls? We find it funny.


What could be more hilarious that bouncing someone off the walls?

Some relevant, and appalling, statistics. “Violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions. At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime”

Ha Ha Ha. Oh Violent J. The ladies getting their beatdowns is so fucking hilarious.

Not all Christians are woman-hating, science-hating nutjobs, of course (however much that view may be Biblically endorsed). Whether that is few, some, or most is too difficult to figure out at the moment. And plenty of other rappers have lyrics that portray or encourage similar violence; but as they haven’t taken to the press to proclaim how laughable it is, my absolute horror is saved for the benighted cretins who think that beating the crap out of a woman is a god damn joke.

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